I took this before I had my lunch and before the flapjack when I was really happy and motivated and I thought I looked pretty. Trying to remind myself that I have not changed in the slightest since I ate in between now and then. I’m freaking out cause I’m about to see my friends and I feel like they’ll know what I jut ate and judge me for it which is so fricking irrational and stupid agh

I took this before I had my lunch and before the flapjack when I was really happy and motivated and I thought I looked pretty. Trying to remind myself that I have not changed in the slightest since I ate in between now and then. I’m freaking out cause I’m about to see my friends and I feel like they’ll know what I jut ate and judge me for it which is so fricking irrational and stupid agh

My head has been ALL over the place today like wow. Woke up super motivated - didn’t measure milk on my weetabix (!) - cried because it was milkier than usual - pulled self together and had big lunch anyway - got sad because I have nothing to do today even though I’ve seen friends the last 3 days in a row - convinced myself that my friends weren’t replying to me because they’d found out I ate more yesterday and thought I was greedy - realised that that was complete bullshit and decided to go to asda and buy myself a protein bar and a magazine because in caring for myself I am caring for those who love me and that is nothing to feel guilty for.

My head has been ALL over the place today like wow. Woke up super motivated - didn’t measure milk on my weetabix (!) - cried because it was milkier than usual - pulled self together and had big lunch anyway - got sad because I have nothing to do today even though I’ve seen friends the last 3 days in a row - convinced myself that my friends weren’t replying to me because they’d found out I ate more yesterday and thought I was greedy - realised that that was complete bullshit and decided to go to asda and buy myself a protein bar and a magazine because in caring for myself I am caring for those who love me and that is nothing to feel guilty for.

Honesty time (TW)

Okay I hate admitting this, I’ve been in complete denial over it but the fact is that for the last month or so I’ve been in a bit of a lapse. I’ve lost a little weight, it was gradual and since I was eating around the GDA I convinced myself that there was no problem. My mum cried to me this morning saying how scared she was about me moving out in 2 1/2 weeks time and it really got to me and I know now that I have to re-commit and recognise that what the government guidelines recommend simply isn’t enough for my body to recover on. I’m not going to lie, I feel really disgusting after today’s intake. It feels far too much and I’m feeling really greedy and ugh and it needs to increase even from there - so this should be a fun week. But at least I know what I’m doing, and finally have some motivation to do it properly. In other news I really need to get drunk and I want to have friends round on Friday but I’m not sure I can any more which sucks so I might just go dropping hints like crazy wooo

Intake :)
Breakfast - weetabix with milk and a chopped banana
Snack - strawberry actimel and a (unpictured) nutri grain raisin bake
Lunch - a tin of minestrone soup, 2 slices of toast with one dairylea triangle and dessert was apple crumble
Snack - trek mixed berry wholefood bar
Dinner - (unpictured) chicken Kiev with boiled new potatoes, steamed broccoli and soy beans, followed by a pot of rice pudding
Snack - (unpictured) alpen trail mix bar

bringingbroganback

bringingbroganback:

Let’s play a game.

I want you guys to reblog this and add on one nice thing you have done for yourself or are planning on doing for yourself today.

Help spread the self love and self appreciation. You never know who might need it.

I’ve invited my friends over to watch a film we’ve been meaning to see for ages, and I asked my dad if we could have chicken Kiev for tea because I had a craving :3

So having had a nice morning and afternoon, I then came home and my parents decided they wanted to see me weigh myself about ten minutes before I had dinner. They’ve never weighed me before, it’s always been done by my doctor or therapist and I found it really humiliating. As my family I just want them to see the progress I’m making in terms of my behaviours and stuff, they’ve watched me slowly becoming myself again and it really hurt that they wanted just to reduce me to a number. I don’t know it was just embarrassing and demoralising and triggering and blegh.

I’ve had a really nice day and finally feel like I’m out of my rough patch! Had a good chat with my dad this morning and he said that TW he thinks I’ve lost a little weight again because my hands are cold again and stuff. I’ve got a weigh in tomorrow but I’m determined to commit to increasing again. i then met up with my best friend in the whole world and she seems to be doing really well and much happier than when I last saw her. I’ve now just done the ice bucket challenge so have cocooned myself in a blanket while watching how I met your mother :)

I’ve had a really nice day and finally feel like I’m out of my rough patch! Had a good chat with my dad this morning and he said that TW he thinks I’ve lost a little weight again because my hands are cold again and stuff. I’ve got a weigh in tomorrow but I’m determined to commit to increasing again. i then met up with my best friend in the whole world and she seems to be doing really well and much happier than when I last saw her. I’ve now just done the ice bucket challenge so have cocooned myself in a blanket while watching how I met your mother :)

metamorphosisofmeg asked:

Once you get this you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, then send this to ten of your favorite followers. (Non negotiable)

Thanks so much Meg! :)
Okay
1. I like that I would do anything at all for my friends
2. I like that I have some degree of intelligence
3. I like that I haven’t given up on recovery
4. I like my teeth
5. I like how much I know about harry potter