Okay I hate admitting this, I’ve been in complete denial over it but the fact is that for the last month or so I’ve been in a bit of a lapse. I’ve lost a little weight, it was gradual and since I was eating around the GDA I convinced myself that there was no problem. My mum cried to me this morning saying how scared she was about me moving out in 2 1/2 weeks time and it really got to me and I know now that I have to re-commit and recognise that what the government guidelines recommend simply isn’t enough for my body to recover on. I’m not going to lie, I feel really disgusting after today’s intake. It feels far too much and I’m feeling really greedy and ugh and it needs to increase even from there - so this should be a fun week. But at least I know what I’m doing, and finally have some motivation to do it properly. In other news I really need to get drunk and I want to have friends round on Friday but I’m not sure I can any more which sucks so I might just go dropping hints like crazy wooo
Let’s play a game.
I want you guys to reblog this and add on one nice thing you have done for yourself or are planning on doing for yourself today.
Help spread the self love and self appreciation. You never know who might need it.
I’ve invited my friends over to watch a film we’ve been meaning to see for ages, and I asked my dad if we could have chicken Kiev for tea because I had a craving :3
So having had a nice morning and afternoon, I then came home and my parents decided they wanted to see me weigh myself about ten minutes before I had dinner. They’ve never weighed me before, it’s always been done by my doctor or therapist and I found it really humiliating. As my family I just want them to see the progress I’m making in terms of my behaviours and stuff, they’ve watched me slowly becoming myself again and it really hurt that they wanted just to reduce me to a number. I don’t know it was just embarrassing and demoralising and triggering and blegh.
My parents left me home alone for the day, not even questioning that I would eat lunch and stuff even though they know I’m scared for my meal tonight and I’m so happy to be trusted that I actually will eat lunch and pudding and snack!
Thanks so much Meg! :)
1. I like that I would do anything at all for my friends
2. I like that I have some degree of intelligence
3. I like that I haven’t given up on recovery
4. I like my teeth
5. I like how much I know about harry potter
Do you ever just want to scream and cry and tell the world that you’re hurting really badly