After a pretty grim day yesterday I actually had a good night, we went to watch the fireworks for the end of the festival which was nice. I’ve been really paranoid about my friends noticing me gain weight or finding out what I’m eating and thinking I’m greedy and stuff (irrational I know) so last night I was going to wait till my walk home to have my snack but I got hungry before then so I ate it infront of people anyway and I’m faaaairly certain no one have a shit so there we go!

Intake!
Breakfast: weetabix with milk and dried apricots
Lunch: a tin of minestrone soup, 2 slices of toast and a cream meringue
Afternoon snack: a trek mixed berry wholefood bar and an options hot chocolate
Dinner: pasta with carbonara sauce and broccoli, a banana
Evening snack: (still to have) maxi mint chocolate protein bar

My mood has been god awful today but I’m powering through to tomorrow!

I just asked one of my best friends to help me, we’re really close but I’ve never really opened up to her about stuff (unless I’ve been drunk haha) but I needed to talk to someone or i was going to be stupid and I think it was a good step. I’ve asked her to find out what the plan for tonight is because I’m scared I’m annoying everyone by asking, today’s just one of those days where I really need some structure

I’m so close to tears and I don’t even know why and I’m scared that everyone hates me and I don’t know my plans for tonight I don’t know if I need to make and eat my own dinner I don’t know if I’m having the dinner my mum will cook and I don’t know if I need to prepare for liquid calories or not I just need a fucking plan

I took this before I had my lunch and before the flapjack when I was really happy and motivated and I thought I looked pretty. Trying to remind myself that I have not changed in the slightest since I ate in between now and then. I’m freaking out cause I’m about to see my friends and I feel like they’ll know what I jut ate and judge me for it which is so fricking irrational and stupid agh

I took this before I had my lunch and before the flapjack when I was really happy and motivated and I thought I looked pretty. Trying to remind myself that I have not changed in the slightest since I ate in between now and then. I’m freaking out cause I’m about to see my friends and I feel like they’ll know what I jut ate and judge me for it which is so fricking irrational and stupid agh

My head has been ALL over the place today like wow. Woke up super motivated - didn’t measure milk on my weetabix (!) - cried because it was milkier than usual - pulled self together and had big lunch anyway - got sad because I have nothing to do today even though I’ve seen friends the last 3 days in a row - convinced myself that my friends weren’t replying to me because they’d found out I ate more yesterday and thought I was greedy - realised that that was complete bullshit and decided to go to asda and buy myself a protein bar and a magazine because in caring for myself I am caring for those who love me and that is nothing to feel guilty for.

My head has been ALL over the place today like wow. Woke up super motivated - didn’t measure milk on my weetabix (!) - cried because it was milkier than usual - pulled self together and had big lunch anyway - got sad because I have nothing to do today even though I’ve seen friends the last 3 days in a row - convinced myself that my friends weren’t replying to me because they’d found out I ate more yesterday and thought I was greedy - realised that that was complete bullshit and decided to go to asda and buy myself a protein bar and a magazine because in caring for myself I am caring for those who love me and that is nothing to feel guilty for.

Honesty time (TW)

Okay I hate admitting this, I’ve been in complete denial over it but the fact is that for the last month or so I’ve been in a bit of a lapse. I’ve lost a little weight, it was gradual and since I was eating around the GDA I convinced myself that there was no problem. My mum cried to me this morning saying how scared she was about me moving out in 2 1/2 weeks time and it really got to me and I know now that I have to re-commit and recognise that what the government guidelines recommend simply isn’t enough for my body to recover on. I’m not going to lie, I feel really disgusting after today’s intake. It feels far too much and I’m feeling really greedy and ugh and it needs to increase even from there - so this should be a fun week. But at least I know what I’m doing, and finally have some motivation to do it properly. In other news I really need to get drunk and I want to have friends round on Friday but I’m not sure I can any more which sucks so I might just go dropping hints like crazy wooo

Intake :)
Breakfast - weetabix with milk and a chopped banana
Snack - strawberry actimel and a (unpictured) nutri grain raisin bake
Lunch - a tin of minestrone soup, 2 slices of toast with one dairylea triangle and dessert was apple crumble
Snack - trek mixed berry wholefood bar
Dinner - (unpictured) chicken Kiev with boiled new potatoes, steamed broccoli and soy beans, followed by a pot of rice pudding
Snack - (unpictured) alpen trail mix bar

bringingbroganback

bringingbroganback:

Let’s play a game.

I want you guys to reblog this and add on one nice thing you have done for yourself or are planning on doing for yourself today.

Help spread the self love and self appreciation. You never know who might need it.

I’ve invited my friends over to watch a film we’ve been meaning to see for ages, and I asked my dad if we could have chicken Kiev for tea because I had a craving :3